In support of Anti-Bullying Week, Rob Clarke shares his thoughts and experiences of being bullied and its significant impact.

Let me tell you a brief story… Over the years, a plethora of metrics have arisen to measure performance, and many sayings have grown up around them like 'If you don't measure it, you can't manage it'. Does this sound familiar…? I was in a call centre recently, sitting comfortably coaching side by side with an advisor, when, out of the blue, I heard, 'Get yourself out of wrap…your call length is too high'. A confused look followed from both the advisor and me. I noticed that there were 25 calls in queue, and the SVL had hit 48%. I could sense the manager's stress and their desire to get the calls answered as quickly as possible. The manager continued, 'Your call handling time has been high all week. I need you to get it down and quickly.' The manager promptly walked off to tear a piece out of the next person in an adjacent team. I turned to the advisor and said, 'How are you going to get the call length down?' They looked back at me, hoping I would give them the answer; after a pause, they said, 'I don't know'.

In support of 'Wear Red Day', Elev-8's Consulting Director, Colin Stebbing, talks about why this particular day resonates with him and why he's wearing red today.

If you buy into the rhetoric, Blue Monday is allegedly the time of year when we are supposedly feeling most blue and at our lowest. Rhetoric? Allegedly? Well, actually… No. We uncover the truth behind this concept.

Black Friday – it’s a relatively new thing, right? It's an American thing, yeah? No. And originally, yes. But not now. The origin of Black Friday is, as the name suggests, actually rooted in negativity . The first recorded use of the phrase dates to 1869 and had nothing to do with Christmas shopping. It was the day plummeting gold prices caused a market crash, the effects of which decimated the US economy for years to come. Despite its origins, it has become a widespread phenomenon – and very much a calendar date for retailers worldwide. Black Friday is back with a bang this year, with shoppers expected to spend almost £9.2bn at the weekend … 15% more than in 2020 when much of the UK was in lockdown. Despite struggles with sourcing stock and recruiting drivers for home deliveries, retailers are bullish this year for the event, which typically accounts for more sales than Christmas week itself. In what is likely to be a widespread problem, toy shop The Entertainer was experiencing problems with agency staff not turning up for shifts in its warehouses – even though it is offering retention bonuses for workers who stay on until Christmas. “In the first three days of this week, we have had 86 people not turn up for work, and that has a huge impact on your productivity… If we can’t pick it, we can’t get it on a lorry, and the shop can’t have their stock delivery….” – Gary Grant / The Entertainer Founder The Entertainer are not alone. Many large retailers are having to bring in additional workforce and incentivise workers to join during their busiest time. So, as our seemingly insatiable need to consume grows, surely, we should take a moment to consider those involved in fulfilling it? Working conditions for those involved in ensuring our Christmas is suitably plush by helping make Black Friday happen cannot be ignored . I used to work in a bookshop part-time when I was a student. I used to dread the Christmas rush. Rude, pushy lines of people with zero consideration for the poor sap furiously scanning and bagging their armfuls of presents they’d bought. Yes, in the 20-something years since I left the books business, the retail landscape has changed. And it isn’t a consideration purely for the high street, but online retailers too. Do you think that your Amazon parcels magically materialise once you push ‘Buy It Now’? No matter the degree of automation at play, there is an army of real people working bloody hard to make sure your PS5 (or whatever) arrives before Christmas. Yes, I’m sure some retail workers will love the buzz of Black Friday, but the relentless onslaught of customers, combined with scope for frayed tempers, inconsiderate behaviour or (worst case) actual violence, shouldn’t be underestimated. No wonder businesses are trying to incentivise people to join them. Seemingly, the financial rewards can be quite generous. But working in a hostile climate is a recipe for disaster. Businesses should remember that their organisation is only as good as their employees (the link between Employee Experience (EX) and Customer Experience (CX) is irrefutable and indestructible)… But we as consumers should really think about how we support these human beings who are so critical in providing us with the service we want. Longer hours, bad tempers, lack of support (and more) lead to unacceptable working environments for many. This is just one (of many) articles dedicated to the ‘hellscape’ that is Black Friday: https://www.livekindly.co/ban-black-friday/ …Which concludes with a wonderful point we should all reflect upon this week: “If you do choose to shop, try to shop small, and be kind. Retail and service workers are supporting themselves and families with this work—and often sacrificing time with their own loved ones to do it. Remember, nobody is entitled to be able to buy holiday presents at midnight on Black Friday, or even at 12 p.m. It’s a remarkable privilege, and one, quite frankly, that should be revoked, or at least, heavily reformed.” Hear Hear.

As many of you will know, this week is Anti-Bullying Week. We could post the ‘One Kind Word’ video or recycle the media pack content from the website (all of which is ‘good stuff’). But you’ll likely have seen that elsewhere already. So, I thought I’d contribute a personal share instead—something you won’t have seen. Before I do that, I wanted to point to some research on the subject of bullying that resonated with me. The University of Warwick and Duke University Medical Centre published a study in the journal Psychological Science. Amongst the many interesting (and disturbing) findings was this: “Victims tended to be more successful—but less healthy—than bullies in adulthood. In general, victimised kids grew up to do better than the kids who bullied them. They made more money, had more friends, and were much, much less likely to be convicted of a crime—but they still did worse than those who weren’t bullied at all. And their mental and physical health tended to be worse than everyone else. (When researchers controlled for other childhood hardships, the risks for both victims and bully victims did not change).” I was bullied at secondary school. And I still feel the impact now. I was terrorised every day on the school bus. Intimidated, named-called, threatened. When I got off at my stop, I’d regularly have 10 boys surrounding me, threatening to beat me up or hurt my family or my dog. I would wake up terrified every morning. I never actually got psychically hurt by anyone else. Even then, I was taller and broader than my peers (and even those older than me). But the constant torment and fear very much took its toll on me, mentally. Suddenly, more extreme physical side-effects arose. I found myself with awful stomach upsets. They were very real and almost constant. The only ‘benefit’ of these was being regularly off sick from school. I then found myself secret eating and binge eating. These destructive eating habits had the knock-on effect of compounding the stomach issues. Over the course of a year, the physical impacts got worse, and so did my absence. The school noticed – and I was called in, with my parents, under the threat of suspension for ‘excessive absence’ from school. Again, the prevailing sense of dread washed over me. I felt trapped between feeling ill, being bullied, disappointing my parents and fear of consequences from the school. I’d love to say at this point that I’d had a helpful intervention from a friend, or a revelation in my thinking. I didn’t. So, I found myself in the school office – parents, headmaster and me. And I just couldn’t hold it in anymore. The torrent of emotion came flooding out. The school listened to my issues – and the boys concerned were spoken to. Coincidentally, being at the end of Year 10, many of the older culprits were about to leave onto pastures new. A few awkward terms remained – and the bullying turned from overt to covert. No more crowds of boys around me, threatening me. But whispers, sniggers and looks fuelled a (justified) paranoia. An improvement, certainly – but not a resolution. That finally came when I entered Year 11, and everything changed. The bullying stopped. But the stomach issues? They stayed. Sure, I’ve developed coping strategies, so my absence is not an issue etc. But they have plagued me for my whole life and actually hospitalised me on numerous occasions now. What about the mental impact? Well, this too, has evolved in some ways and festered in others. On the positive side, I have developed an outward resilience and toughness. To the casual observer, little phases me. I’m lucky to be part of a wonderful business and have fabulous family, friends and colleagues. To all intents and purposes, I am ‘successful’. But am I truly happy? I should be. But something in my mental makeup keeps stopping me. For example, I now struggle with self-validation. Most people who meet me see someone with much confidence. Those who REALLY know me, know my truth to be far different. I now have a strange relationship with emotion with those I don’t know. I tend to come across as cold or transactional – but, in truth, it stems from a fear of being vulnerable. I also struggle to find peace – happiness with my lot in life. I always seek more. Never settle. Like all of us, I’m a work in progress. I’m definitely a number of steps away from inner-peace and enlightenment. Because, as the research attests, bullying doesn’t just cause ‘in the moment’ damage – it is far more insidious and long-lasting. Not just weeks, not just months – not even years. But decades. The theme for 2021’s week is ‘one kind word’. Whilst no one could argue against that, I wished I’d had someone who wasn’t just kind – but a more skilful coach. Someone who was curious and challenging but wrapped it in kindness. If you can do that for somebody - be they in your family, your friendship group or at your place of work, don’t hesitate. #Bullying #MentalHealth #Coaching

And never have I been clearer. It’s been about 35 years since someone actually called me a nigger, to my face. It was in school, and I’m certain that the only reason it didn’t happen again is because I delivered the perpetrator (who I considered a friend previously), an unequivocal “manu et manu” beating. And if I had my time again, I’d do the exact same thing! She picked the wrong girl and got her arse handed to her on a plate! My parents, who always encouraged dialogue versus physical combat, on this occasion, backed me 100%. That event and my response is undoubtedly why, for my remaining time in school, no one ever called me that word, to my face anyway. And in that, I also know how lucky I am, as many face the verbal and physical onslaughts, on a daily basis.

As the world appears to be embracing all aspects of our newfound freedoms, at Elev-8, we’ve found ourselves in a reflective mood. Amongst the hardships faced in the last year, there have also been interjections of loveliness, and we know as well as anyone, the importance of practising gratitude. And we are! One of the things we value most from the last year is the increased sense of humanity. When you think you know someone, there is always an '&'... We want to hear more of the “&” In a World laid bare!

No glasses wearer wants to suffer from 'floppy arm' syndrome. There - we said it! The risks to your health, safety and fashionista status are too great. Your glasses sitting at a jaunty angle or falling off into your lunch does little for your confidence. Miranda was so afflicted recently - and sought help from a high street optician chain. She should have gone elsewhere - as their eye for service definitely needs lasering.