We often think of exclusion, discrimination or bullying as something that plays out between two people—the person doing the harm, and the person experiencing it.
But there’s almost always a third party: the witness.
We’ve all been that witness. Maybe we froze. Maybe we laughed along to fit in. Maybe we told ourselves it wasn’t a big deal. But allyship isn’t about being perfect. It’s about what we choose to do next.
At Elev-8, we believe inclusion isn’t built through strategy documents. It’s built through everyday moments. When someone makes a joke that lands badly. When a colleague is talked over. When a decision gets made in a way that leaves voices out.
This is where allyship matters. And it’s why we work with managers to build the skills, mindset, and confidence to be more than a bystander.
Why this matters
Cultures are shaped by what we walk past, not just what we say we value.
Most people want to be inclusive. But intention isn’t the same as action. Being an active ally means taking responsibility for the space you occupy and the influence you hold, even if you’re not the one causing harm.
Done well, active allyship helps teams feel safer, stronger and more supported. Done poorly or avoided altogether, it creates a culture of silence where harm festers.
According to DEI experts like Derald Wing Sue, allyship is a journey with four clear stages:
- Apathy – being unaware or disengaged from the issues others face
- Awareness – listening, learning, and recognising your privilege
- Action – beginning to speak up, change behaviours, and challenge the status quo
- Allyship – consistently showing up with courage, curiosity and commitment
Where do you sit on that scale today?
A quick pulse-check
- Have you ever witnessed a non-inclusive moment and said nothing?
- Do you avoid challenging microaggressions because you’re scared of saying the wrong thing?
- Do you rely on HR or DEI leads to fix issues instead of stepping in yourself?
If any of these land, you’re not alone. Allyship takes practice. But staying silent isn’t neutral. It’s part of the problem.
Try this with your team: Which witness are you?
The next time a tough moment happens, ask yourself: what role am I playing?
🗣 Colluder – I joined in or laughed along
😶 Bystander – I noticed, but stayed silent
🎯 Active ally – I named it, I stepped in, I followed up
Then reflect:
- What stopped you from acting differently?
- What impact did your choice have on the person affected?
- What would you do next time?
This self-awareness creates momentum. It turns “I should’ve said something” into “Next time, I will.”
Final thought – Progress needs participation
Being an active ally isn’t about being flawless. It’s about showing up.
That means noticing who’s excluded, listening without defensiveness, and choosing to say something, even when it’s uncomfortable.
At Elev-8, we believe the most inclusive teams are the ones where people take ownership of their impact. Where allyship is normal, not niche. And where leaders create the kind of team climate where everyone feels seen and supported.
You don’t need all the answers. But you do need to act.
Want to go deeper?
Being an active ally is one of 30+ proven, practical sessions in our Ready to Go suite of management development topics. Built to help your managers lead with clarity, care and courage.
