We’ve all worked with someone who just doesn’t seem to get us.
Maybe they bombard you with detail when you want headlines. Or go off on a tangent when you just want a decision. Or get straight to business before you’ve even said hello.
We’ve probably done the same to others too (hindsight is 20/20, right?)
At Elev-8, we work with managers who want to connect better with their teams, peers, and stakeholders. And one of the biggest shifts is realising this: how you prefer to communicate isn’t always how others prefer to receive it.
Why this matters
Miscommunication costs time, trust, and energy. It causes friction, delays, and disengagement. But the good news? Most of it is avoidable.
The best communicators aren’t the loudest or the most polished. They’re the ones who flex.
They spot cues. They adjust their tone, approach, and pace. They know when to go big picture and when to zoom into detail. And it all starts with understanding behavioural preferences.
That’s why we use Illuminate, our behavioural preference tool, to help leaders:
- Understand their default style
- Recognise how others might be wired differently
- Spot key cues and adapt in real time
It’s not about changing who you are. It’s about choosing how you show up.
A quick pulse-check
- Do you ever feel like your message doesn’t land, even when it’s clear to you?
- Do certain colleagues drain your energy more than others?
- Do you find yourself repeating the same point in different ways just to get buy-in?
These are all signs that a bit more flex might help.
Try this with your team: Communication Contrast
Ask each team member to answer two questions:
- When someone wants to persuade you, what works best?
- When you’re stressed, how do you prefer others to communicate with you?
Share and compare. You’ll uncover preferences around pace, tone, format, and even timing.
It’s a simple way to normalise differences and start flexing with intention.
Final thought – Communication isn’t about you. It’s about them!
If you want to influence, inspire, or simply connect—flexing your style is essential. It’s not fake. It’s not manipulative. It’s what emotionally intelligent leaders do.
At Elev-8, we believe flex starts with insight. And tools like Illuminate help make the invisible visible.
Want to explore how to flex your communication or find out more about Illuminate? Contact us.
Want to go deeper?
Flexing your communication style is one of 30+ proven, practical sessions in our Ready to Go suite of management development topics. Built to help your managers lead with confidence, clarity and care.
